“It’s round 3 of the international chess global world cup. My name is Stu Heyguy and I will be your commentator for today, just like I was yesterday. Oh, looks like the game is about to start. Yes, two of the world’s greatest grandmasters. From Switzerland we have Josef Guldana and our reigning world champ, 28 year-old Kip Huegell. Kip has been world champion for 15 years now, making him history’s longest reigning world champ, but let’s see if Josef will knock King Kip off his perch. Alright, game’s about to start. They shake hands. And, whoa, look at them go! Moving pieces onto black and white squares! With their hands! Look at the focus. The concentration. Josef is already sweating bullets. He’s already lost both knights, a bishop, and three pawns. But then there’s Kip. He’s in deep focus. I wonder what he’s thinking…”
Tuna salad. No. I should probably use the rest of the chicken up first. Maybe I can, oh he’s moving his queen there? Interesting. Anyway, maybe I can just make a chicken barbecue salad. That sounds like it could be good. Use up the rest of the lettuce. Check. But do I have any corn? Hm, God, this guy seems worried. Well, I am up two games, about to be three. This guy is not a good player. But they’re all good players. Anyone who faces me has to be, but, it’s almost like it’s nothing. I might as well be fighting an empty chair. Maybe I should retire. I mean, I love the game, but the game is only as fun as your opponent. Geez, look at him. Hands shaking. Left eye twitching. He’s probably been training for months, years for this moment. Maybe I should make it look like I’m struggling. But it’s probably already too late for that. And I don’t want to insult the guy…but what would I do if I stopped playing chess. I mean, I’m sure I would find something. I have other interests, like stenciling. But, man, none of it even compares. Like, what am I without–check…maybe I should lose this one. Make things more interesting. No, I can’t do that. God…
“And, oof! There goes Josef’s queen! And he resigns. What a stunning endgame. Two titans struggling for supremacy, but only one can win. I’m sure tomorrow will be just as exciting. But I am 100 percent certain Kip is just going to win again, because that’s just what he does. But Josef is one heck of a player, and nothing can take that away from him.”
Image by Johannes Plenio from Pixabay