“Aaaand that’s it. We’ve conquered all of the known universe.”
“Wow. All of it huh? Didn’t seem to take too long, did it?”
“Nope. Which further shows that our empire sure was destined to control all 18,000 stars.”
“Yeah, and what’s weird is that we once thought there were more stars than that.”
“Heh. Yeah. Turns out a lot of stars were just dust scientists were seeing on their telescopes.”
“Man, people were so stupid back then.”
“Yep. Unlike today however. And now that every living being is a citizen of the empire people will continue to get smarter and flourish.”
“Indeed. Indeed…”
The two men sat there for awhile. Until…
“Todd?”
“Yes?”
“What if we blew-up a galaxy?”
“What? What for?”
“Um…what?”
“I’m asking you, what would the reason be for decimating one of the empire’s great galaxies?”
“Well…I just figured now that the empire now owns the universe and everything is peaceful people are going to get antsy.”
“Antsy?”
“Yeah. You know.”
“I don’t.”
“Well, you know how people get too comfortable. They start to get paranoid. They start to think of threats that don’t exist. So I figure why don’t we, you know, manufacture an intergalactic conflict in order to control what people’s fear and other negative emotions. Otherwise, their feelings will start to boil over and, before you know it, they got our heads on stakes. Space stakes.”
“…Why would they come for us?”
“I don’t know. Jealousy. And I’m not saying their actions would be rational. Just the opposite. That’s why we have to preemptively–”
“Ok. Ok. I get it.”
“…So?”
“What?”
“What do you think?”
“Gah! I know what you mean. But we’re not just blowing-up a galaxy.”
“Not even a poor, disgusting one?”
“…Well…let me think about it.”
“Of course. Of course. Take your time.”
Written for Daily Writing Prompt #29.
Very Important Stuff Here 