I wasn’t sure what the issue was. Well, I knew what it was, but it was the why that evaded me. I stared at the screen which cascaded green numbers and characters at rapid speed. I tried turning it off and off again, but to no avail. I was getting somewhat irritated.
“What did I do now?” I asked myself. I wasn’t the most computer-savvy as they say. In fact, I was inadvertently destructive at times, whether it was clicking on a link I wasn’t supposed to, or by downloading too many MP3 files. But this was a whole new beast. Maybe it was due to the Windows update. I searched on my phone to see if this was being experienced by others, but it seemed like I was the only one.
Eventually, I took it to my closest ally, someone who is more well-versed in the ways of digital technology. “Well, well, what did you do now?” My sister, Hayley, asked in a sardonic tone that displeased me somewhat.
“Look, can you fix it?”
She sighed. “Let me see what I can do.” She opened my laptop and typed. I paced the room as she attempted a number of fixes. After an hour of this she glared at me. “Can you stop that?”
“Sorry. It’s just that I have very important work I need to do.”
“Social media marketing is not important work.” She shook her head. “But…this is beyond me.”
“Beyond you? But, you’re the computer-person!”
“I know. I know…but this is quite serious. I’m going to have to take this to The Council.”
“Okay…so, who are they?”
“Look, the specifics don’t matter. What matters is that they are the only ones that will be able to help you. Come with me.” We drove all day and all night eventually reaching a large, decadent mansion on the outside of known civilization. He stepped through the door and were lead down into a dark basement with stone walls. That is where we met The Council.
They towered above us, a single light above illuminating their gold masks. Hayley motioned me to kneel down as she did a very intricate and somewhat impressive series of gestures. Then she kneeled next to me and we bowed our heads. After a few moments of silence, a voice boomed across the darkness.
“Right.” Hayley rose. “We are here to seek the aid of The Council. You see, my dim-witted brother, who is very dim-witted, is having an issue with his laptop.”
“Um, Windows 10.”
The Council murmured among themselves. Then fell back to silence. The voice returned. “Has it been updated?”
Hayley looked over at me and I nodded.
“Please provide THE DEVICE!”
Hayley pulled out the laptop and a servant quickly snatched it from her hands. The council surrounded the laptop and tried typing in some commands. They spoke among themselves. “Maybe try activating safe mode?” “I’ve been trying Hubert! But it won’t let me!” “Maybe that’s no longer a feature.” “That’s stupid!” “Hey, take it up with Microsoft.”
“Um, excuse me?” I rose. Hayley shushed at me, but I just needed the Council to be aware. “Um, sorry. But, do you know how long this will take? I need to do some work and have some things due tomorrow–”
“SILENCE! We are TROUBLESHOOTING!”
I kneeled back down and groveled. “Sorry sirs. Sorry.”
“Now, where were we?” “Perhaps we can try taking the battery out and putting it back then.” “Or maybe he can just use Apple from now on.” “Yeah, or Linux!” They snickered at this. After a few more minutes The Council tossed the laptop at our feet.
“There is nothing that can be done. Please leave.”
“Yes Council, thank you,” Hayley said as she bowed. I grabbed my laptop and ran after her.
“Well that was a load of balls! Just a big pile of balls!” I ranted as she drove.
“Well, they’re the best. And if there’s nothing they can do…”
“God! Why can’t computers be easy! And–oh seems to be working now.”
“Yeah. I just opened it and now it’s back to the start-up screen. Huh. Wonder what that was all about.” I shrugged and from there I proceeded to continue my work, completely forgetting about my adventure as my mind went numb and I worked for hours and hours doing things with emails and Twitter.