Mara and Artie were still marching through the forest or jungle or whatever.
“What? We can’t keep stopping. We have to get back before the sun–”
“Do you know where we are going?”
“I…” Artie didn’t want to say it. He liked Mara, but was also afraid of her. “I think we’re lost.”
“Yes. Yes we are.” She said through clenched teeth. It seemed like she was having a hard time admitting this. Artie surmised that she must have had some sort of tough background where, at a young age, she had to provide and fight, then maybe joined the military or something. He was tempted to ask, but didn’t want to get into a whole backstory thing.
“When I was young, my parents weren’t around…”
Artie almost let out a sigh but caught himself.
“…We had to fend for ourselves. When I was 12…” And she went on, in excruciating detail, about her morbid past, and how it formed her into the person she is today. As she was wrapping-up Artie had found a rock to sit on. He was nodding off, until:
“And that’s when I realized that everyone is a rat. And–Artie?”
His eyes shot open. “Oh! Um, yes! Right! Um…sorry.”
“What are you doing? We have to get going.” The sky was orange and going dim.
“And stop saying ‘sorry’ so much.” They started their journey back when, 2 seconds later, they spotted a large structure just before them. They stopped.
“Whoa. What is it?”
“I…I think it’s some sort of secret base.”
“Whoa. I wasn’t expecting that. Whoa. Whoaaaaaa.”
Meanwhile, on the other side of the island, a giant crab had blocked Sheila and Zmed’s exit out of the cave. It was a fairly large crab, taller than a person or two. It snapped its giant claws. The cave-dwellers were frightened. Sheila hid behind Zmed.
“Go! Kill it!”
“Go! Or you won’t have my support if you want to be leader of the island. Now, go!”
Zmed gulped. He slowly approached the crab, pulling out his coconut knife. “Alright, crab. Time to–” But before Zmed could finish his thought, a giant claw came down on his head. His body fell over. The crab let out a giant roar that rattled the walls of the cave. Sheila scrambled over to Zmed’s body and snatched the coconut knife.
“Come on! What is everyone doing? We can take it! We outnumber the crab 10 to 1!”
“Right, but it’s got claws!”
“Yeah! And it looks weird!”
Sheila shook her head. Maybe it was time for a different approach. “Hello there, crab. My name is Sheila. I have come to your island not as a colonizer, but as a survivor. We mean you no harm.”
The crab pointed one of its claws towards the feet of the cave-dwellers, where the dead crabs were strewn about.
“Oh…um…well, I had nothing to do with that.”
“What?” Said the old man.
“No, it was all them. And if you let me survive, I can show you were others of their kind are.”
The crab let out another roar and shoved Sheila to the side, her body smacking against one of the cavern walls. The crab stepped on Zmed and shambled toward the cave dwellers and began its onslaught.
“Wait!” The old man cried out. The crab stopped. “Look, we’re sorry man. We’re just a bunch of dildos trying to survive. We were so hungry. And…we’re just animals, like you. We need food and meat to survive. We know it’s wrong to eat crabs, but we had no other choice. Surely you must understand this, right? But…if you must kill us, we understand.”
“We do?” Asked one of the cave-dwellers, but the old man shushed him.
The crab rubbed its crab-chin. “Hm. You make a fair point, cave-shrimp,” it said with a low, booming voice. “I too am guilty. I have eaten millions upon millions of fish. Tiny, delicious fish. But, had I not eaten those fish, they could have gone to become lawyers or pediatricians. I…I am sorry. I forgive you. But I ask you, if possible, please do not eat any more of my friends.”
“Deal!” The old man shook the tip of the ginormous crab’s claw. Sheila watched this. She didn’t know what to make of this. Any of this. As the crab exited the cave Sheila followed.
“Hey! Excuse me!”
“Yes, tiny cave-shrimp.”
“I…so you don’t mind that your friends were eaten?”
“No…I do mind. It hurts me greatly. But, I can’t blame your kind. We were just trying to survive just like myself.”
“But…I’m so confused.”
The crab thought for a moment. “Come with me cave-shrimp. I will teach you the ways of the crab.” Sheila jumped on its back and rode as the crab entered the sunlight and headed towards the edge of the water. This might be the stupidest thing I’ve ever written.